Relate London North West is now able to offer appointments in a central London location, allowing those who live or work in Westminster to access our services more easily.

At the new base within the Department of Education, Sanctuary Buildings, London, SW1P 3BT Relate London North West is offering appointments for individuals, couples and families. Clients will be able to request appointments for Relationship Counselling, Sex Therapy and Family Counselling at the new location.

For appointments in Westminster please call us on  020 84278694

Independent think tank, the New Economics Foundation, was commissioned by the government’s Foresight Project on Mental Capital and Wellbeing to review evidence on improving wellbeing in research studies from around the world. The list below is the result of their work:

Here are 5 evidence based ways to help you improve your mental wellbeing. Try to integrate them into your daily life – think of them as your “5 a day” of mental wellbeing!

1. Connect… With the people around you. With family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. At home, work, school or in your local community. Think of these as the cornerstones of your life and invest time in developing them. Building these connections with support and enrich you every day.

2. Be Active… Go for a walk or run. Step outside. Cycle. Play a game. Garden. Dance. Exercising makes you feel good. Most importantly, discover a physical activity that you enjoy; one that suits your level of mobility and fitness.

3. Give… Do something nice for a friend, or a stranger. Thank someone. Smile. Volunteer your time. Join a community group. Look out, as well as in. Seeing yourself, and your happiness, linked to the wider community can be incredibly rewarding and will create connections with the people around you.

4. Keep Learning… Try something new. Rediscover an old interest. Sign up for that course. Take on a different responsibility at work. Fix a bike. Learn to play an instrument or how to cook your favourite food. Set a challenge you will enjoy achieving. Learning new things will make you more confident, as well as being fun to do.

5. Take Notice… Be curious. Catch sight of the beautiful. Remark on the unusual. Notice the changing seasons. Savour the moment, whether you are on a train, eating lunch or talking to friends. Be aware of the world around you and what you are feeling. Reflecting on your experiences will help you appreciate what matters to you.

 These are actions that are shown by research to improve people’s wellbeing. They can’t change our circumstances but building them into our daily lives can help us feel better, no matter what our starting point.. Click here for more on the nef’s work on Wellbeing.

Spring Workshops at Relate London North West

New dates for our popular workshops are now on the web site..

Parents Apart
This workshop looks at the impact of divorce and separation on children and their parents.
It offers an opportunity to share concerns and experiences as well as offering strategies for helping children cope with this change in their lives.

3^rd March 2012                              10am – 4pm                                    Cost £65*

Taking Charge of Your Life
Taking Charge of Your life is a workshop designed to help you increase your confidence and cope better with stress. During the workshop you will also look at assertiveness skills and how to manage your time more effectively to Take Charge. 

28^th April 2012                                           10am – 4pm                                    Cost £65*

Moving Forward
Moving forward is a workshop designed to help those who are separated or divorced cope with the break up of a relationship. It has been written to help you work through the complex feelings associated with the break-up and to learn new techniques which will help re-build your life. 

12^th May 2012                                10am – 4pm                                    Cost £65*

email us here to book for any of the workshops

Beatbullying today publishes Virtual Violence II: Progress and Challenges in the Fight against Cyberbullying - an in-depth study of the state of cyberbullying amongst children, young people and teachers in the UK.

The report is commissioned by Nominet Trust and in association with the National Association for Head teachers. It will be unveiled in a hard-hitting Panorama documentary airing on the BBC tonight and reveals that cyberbullying, as a weapon of choice amongst the nation’s youth, is showing no signs of dissipating, with 350,222 children – or 1 in 13 – experiencing persistent and intentional cyberbullying, with just under a quarter (23%) reporting that the bullying lasted for a year or more, and two in five (40%) said that it lasted for months or weeks. These findings closely mirror Beatbullying’s first Virtual Violence study published in 2009.

Looking at the long-term effects of cyberbullying, Virtual Violence II reveals the detrimental impact this kind of abuse can have on a young person’s wellbeing, with:

• 20% of children and young people indicating that fear of cyberbullies made them reluctant to go to school
• One in five (19%) reporting they experienced reduced confidence and self-esteem
• 14% living in fear for their safety
• 5% resorting to self-harm and 3% reporting an attempt of suicide as a direct result of cyberbullying

An extra £20 million will be made available to support separated and separating families as part of the radical overhaul of the Child Maintenance system, Ministers announced today.

The money, which doubles government spending on relationship support in 2012/13 is part of the radical reforms to mend the broken child support system.
It will help families work out their own arrangements, rather than trapping them in the current outdated system, which has been shown to be expensive and divisive and does not put children first.
A typical case in the CSA can cost the taxpayer around £25,000 rising to around £40,000 if enforcement action is needed. Many parents already share the care of their children and it is estimated that if those made their own arrangements for maintenance this could save the taxpayer £45m per year.

Iain Duncan Smith, Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, said:

“This is about helping to put children first in what is a difficult and traumatic time for all concerned. Most parents want to come to arrangements with a minimal disruption to their children and by offering them the right support we can help make this the case.

“We need to radically re-think the support we provide to separating parents to place family responsibility and the welfare of children at its heart.  Our plans to reform the child maintenance system will enable parents to come to their own family-based arrangements which work far better for children.”
The £20m for family services will be dedicated to working with voluntary and community groups on streamlining existing support and looking at what additional help is needed.

Work and Pensions Minister, Maria Miller said:

“We need to rebalance our spending so more families can access the support they need to work out their own arrangements rather than default into the statutory scheme.

“Even at the difficult time of family breakdown both parents must take responsibility for supporting their children.

“Parents know what is best for their family, this is why we will offer further support at the point of separation to help establish a dialogue between parents and workable financial arrangements that always put children first.

“The current child maintenance system is broken. At the moment the CSA costs the British taxpayer almost half a billion pounds every year – 40p for every pound moved.”

A steering group of voluntary and community sector experts as well as academics have advised on how best this money should be used to coordinate existing organisations on the ground.

Karen Woodall, Director of the Centre for Separated Families, who are part of the steering group said:

“We are absolutely delighted that the government is making this money available to help parents make their own family-based child maintenance arrangements. Support services, such as those proposed, will offer parents the kind of help they so desperately need around not just maintenance but other post separation issues, too.”

“We know that parents who make their own private arrangements are not only happier with them, but that those arrangements tend to last longer, work better and are more flexible in responding to children’s changing needs.”

The group will continue to help define what is needed, which could include:

• A web service that will be able to provide on-line material and peer to peer forums as well as signposting parents to specialist websites and local support services in their area;
• Helpline support for separating parents who need information and contact details for specialist and local support services that could help them;
• Coordinated local services to offer help and support.

 January has seen Relate, experience a 116% increase* in calls to its helpline from people needing relationship support, compared to calls in December. The massive increase in calls, up 20% from the same days last year, shows families and couples are feeling under more pressure.

A survey of callers** revealed that the biggest issues causing relationship breakdown were:

** Survey undertaken by Relate Response operators. 135 callers surveyed Jan 3^rd – Jan 9^th 2012. 

 * Statistics from calls to the Relate Response line comparing working days Jan 3 – 5 2012 compared to Dec 1, 2, 5 2011.

 Relate has also seen a 60% increase in visitors to the national website and an 80% rise in the number of visitors to the local web site (www.relatelondonnw.org.uk) during the first week of January 2012.

 A survey of callers to the national helpline revealed:

-          One in three callers said they had an awful or really awful Christmas this year
-          Two in five callers said they had waited until after Christmas to tackle their relationship problems
-          One in three callers said their relationship breakdown was down to arguments
Christine Northam , Relate counsellor, said: “We know that during these tough economic times families are under more pressure and this often leads to more arguments and break-ups. Our callers tell us that arguments, affairs and problems with their sex life are the major issues leading to difficulties. We’d urge couples to talk to each other as soon as they notice a problem and seek help.

“While we don’t like to think of people in distress in some ways it is encouraging that so many people are contacting Relate because we really can make a difference, especially if people contact us sooner rather than later.”

Locally demand is also rising. At RelateLondonNorth West. Chief ExcecutiveHazel Hewettsaid “ We often see a rise in calls after the Christmas break and this year we have seen a significant increase in those making appointments for both our Counselling and Family Mediation services”. She continued “The feedback from new clients suggests that economic pressures are making family life even more challenging.”

 Relate conducted a survey before Christmas and found the most common problems for fireworks over the Christmas period were identified as personality clashes (14%) and not agreeing on what to do over the break (10%). And it seems we are most likely to argue with our partner (29%) or our children (13%).

A survey commissioned for the programme Dying To Be Thin: Tonight, on ITV  recently showed that  body image amongst young people and children has become an increasingly worrying issue for parents and carers.  

There are a lot younger children who are unhappy with their body weight more than ever before.  It has been said that media images are responsible for this issue with their portrayal of “perfect” bodies, but this is a debate that is ongoing.  There has been a recent poll carried out by online survey companies Onepoll and Youngpoll, who report the following:-

• Almost a quarter of children under 10 consider themselves overweight, according to a new survey.
• 28% have been bullied because of their weight, while 26% have skipped a meal in the hope of losing some pounds.
• The poll of 1,500 young people aged seven to 18 also found that more than 40% of under 10s worry about their weight and almost a quarter (23%) have been on a diet in the past year.
• Two thirds (66%) of this age group admit to weighing themselves, with 37% doing so regularly. And 38% say they are influenced by a “diet obsessed society”.
• Among youngsters aged 11 to 13, 34% are not happy with their weight and 61% worry about it, 45% have been on a diet, including 15% in the last year.
• Some 77% of this age group weigh themselves, with half doing so regularly. And 44% have been the victim of bullying over their size while 51% say they are influenced by society’s expectations.
• Of all the age groups, 13% say they are on a constant diet, while more than a quarter have visited anorexia websites and 5% do so on a regular basis.
• More than half also said they had heard of people making themselves sick after eating and 16% think laxatives help weight loss. 
• More than half of girls surveyed said they want to be a size 10 or smaller when they are older.

January 12th 2012
The Children’s Society is calling for a radical new approach to childhood as the charity’s landmark research identifies the keys to children’s happiness.
The Good Childhood Report 2012  being launched today by the Archbisop of York, Dr John Sentamu reveals that at any moment half a million children across the UK are unhappy with their lives.
The report unveils six key priorities needed for a happy childhood, after interviewing more than 30,000 children aged eight to 16.

Children who have low levels of happiness are much less likely to enjoy being at home with their family, feel safe when with their friends, like the way they look and feel positive about their future. Children unhappy in this way are also more likely to be victimised, have eating disorders or be depressed.

Key findings
Key findings in the Good Childhood Report 2012  include:

• Choice and family have the biggest impact on children’s happiness.

• It is not the structure, but the relationships within a family that children care about. Loving relationships between a child and their family are ten times more powerful than family structure in increasing well-being.

• Stability is important. Children who experience a change in family members they are living with are twice as likely to experience low wellbeing. Almost a quarter (23%) of children who have moved home more than once over the past 12 months have low levels of well-being.

• Low well-being increases dramatically with age – doubling from the age of 10 (7%) to the age of 15 (14%).

• Children as young as eight are aware of the financial issues their families face. Children in families who have experienced a reduction in income are more likely to have low well-being.

• Children who do not have clothes to ‘fit in’ with peers are more than three times as likely to be unhappy with their appearance. Around a third say they often worry about the way they look. Unhappiness with appearance increases with age and is greater among girls.

• Children who had been bullied more than three times over the last three months were significantly more likely to experience low well-being (36%) than those that had never been bullied (6%).

• Children like to be similar to their friends. Children who have a lot less, or even a lot more pocket money than their friends, have lower levels of well-being.

Read the full report here

11 February 2012            10am – 4pm             Cost £65

Taking Charge of Your Life is a workshop designed to help you increase your confidence and cope better with stress. During the workshop you will also look at assertiveness skills and how to manage your time more effectively to Take Charge.

Booking Form for Taking Charge of Your Life Workshop

To book a place please contact Relate on:  020 8427 8694 / 2801
or [encode_email email="relate_training@yahoo.co.uk" display="Email Workshops"]

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Relate has partnered up with Ann Summers to conduct a large scale Sex Census. We need your help to really understand what’s going on inside (and outside) bedrooms so that we can continue to support happy and healthy sex lives.

Everyone who enters receives a 10% discount online at AnnSummers.com and you could win £500 to spend in any Ann Summers store.
 
We really want to hear from you – whether you’re male or female, in a relationship or single, and whatever your sexual orientation. Your input is completely confidential.
To take part click here