The care and attention a child receives when young will affect their health, behaviour and ability to learn throughout their lives. A recent survey suggests that 85 per cent of mums and dads want more practical help on caring for their baby to provide the best possible start for their children.

The Prime Minister outlined that the support being offered to parents will include:

• a brand new digital service for parents-to-be and new parents, providing regular emails and texts with timely information as their pregnancy develops and their child grows;
• free parenting classes to all parents of children aged five years and under in three trial areas;
• expert organisations to deliver relationship support for first time parents in four trial areas of the country from this summer.

more details of the new services for parents

John Loughton, Head of Public Policy Relate, said:

“Relate is delighted to be working with the Department for Education. Following the birth of a child, evidence shows that issues like coping with tiredness and new parental responsibilities can leave a couple vulnerable to tension, conflict or poor emotional wellbeing. Couples manage best when they work as a team, and Relate, through this trial, can offer the strategies, advice and confidence couples need to thrive as a parent and a partner. are delighted to be a part of this pilot offering relationship support”

Relate alreday offers support through it’s web site Relate for Parents

Details of the Sex Census sponsored by Relate and Ann Summers are now in the Ann Summers stores. Call in to your local store now for more information about the results of our ground-breaking study into the sex lives of the nation.

Information is available at our local Ann Summers store in St Anns Centre

Find out more about the results of the Sex Census 2012 here

According to the Daily Mail as a nation, we’re more willing than ever to seek professional help over matters of the heart.

Couples counselling is booming — 110,000 pairs went for relationship counselling last year and Relate finds that 80 per cent of our clients report that their bond has been strengthened as a result.

So what really goes on behind the counsellor’s door? With hour-long sessions costing an average of £50 it can be an expensive process, so is there anything you can do before you get to this stage?

 They asked a registered psychotherapist with more than 25 years of couples counselling experience, to share her insights.

THERE’S NO SUCH THING  AS A ‘NORMAL’ MARRIAGE: I’ve seen relationships where one partner is gay, others where the pair never have sex and others where the partners have separate homes and take separate holidays. I saw one couple who took a year-long sabbatical from each other. These set-ups would be unacceptable to many, but if something works, then who’s to say it’s not ‘normal’?

IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW MUCH SEX YOU’RE HAVING: Everyone thinks everyone else is having more sex than they are. Despite the myths we are bombarded with, there are plenty of couples I’ve seen who have sex once a fortnight, once a month or once every three or even six months. The important thing is that both partners are happy with their situation.

YOU AREN’T THAT SHOCKING: There will always be another couple with more outrageous problems than yours. I saw one couple in their 40s where the wife discovered her husband dressed as a woman. She was ashamed and embarrassed, but in the end, they agreed that every Thursday she’d go out with friends and he could do his thing. It’s all about compromise.

COMMUNICATE: One woman thought she was a great communicator because she ‘spoke her mind’. In fact, she was aggressive and insensitive. Her husband had an affair — it was the only way he could get through to her. In most cases of infidelity, the couple have deep-rooted communication problems. Try listening in  a way that’s neither too passive nor aggressive.

SAVING YOUR RELATIONSHIP :The key is whether you both want to save it. This is the single most important thing determining how successful counselling will be.

Read more

Ann Summers and Relate, two of the leading authorities on sexual behaviour and  attitudes in the UK, have teamed up to produce one of the largest ever snapshots  of the nation’s sex lives.

Over 20,000 from across all age groups, genders, sexualities and sexual  orientations, took part in the Sex Census 2012 and the results are revealed in the report launched on the 8th May

Key Findings of the Survey:

*             56% of the participants think they have a good sex life

*             48% said they are having sex every few days

*             but 50% of women and 63% of men want more

The results showed that in London, 67% of people are having sex once a week  or more. 12 % said they had sex once a fortnight and only 3% said less than  once a year, making London the least frisky region.

National impacts and problems

In London the results matched the national picture:

• 22% said tiredness was impacting their sex life
• 18% said low body confidence
• 12% said low esteem

Relate Counsellor Judy Karr commented “We know that low body confidence is a real issue for the thousands of people our sex therapists see each year.  But if your confidence has taken a knock, talking to Relate will help get your problems out in the open. For more details about our Sex Therapy services click here

For more details about the survey click here

Every day, a quarter of a million of us will miss work because of stress.

Prolonged stress can lead to more serious mental or physical health problems.
 
Are you feeling stressed? The Mental Health Foundation offers plenty of guidance and support materials for you to access:
 
Take the free 5 minute stress test and see how your stress levels compare.  
 
Alternatively download the free Stress and Relaxation podcast, or the  Quick Fix Relaxation podcast.

In an interview with the Daily Mirror MasterChef’s Gregg Wallace has spilled the beans on his split from wife Heidi, saying: “I want to work on it.”
Gregg, 47, admitted they were “two very different people” – but said he had not given up hope of a reconciliation He said: “I love my wife. I want to go to marriage counselling. I want to work on it.”

Explaining his reasons for the break-up, he added: “I spent a lot of time doing things to please Heidi and it was bothering me. “She wanted me to stop the socialising and stop the drinking. “If we were in a Chinese restaurant and there were prawn crackers she’d move them to the other side of the table so I wouldn’t eat them.”

Heidi, 30, still works as Gregg’s PA and cares for his two children Tom, 18, and Libby, 15, from a previous marriage, while he lives in a Londonflat.
But when asked if they would get back together she told Weekend magazine: “No. Sometimes he’s a difficult man, he can be quite moody.“He’s very driven and works incredibly hard, which makes him stressed. He’s also quite needy. I was finding it more and more difficult to deal with.”

She added: “I’m definitely going to do the marriage counselling because I’d like to continue to look after the kids.” She said of Gregg: “I hope he does meet someone who makes him feel happy and loves him for all he is.”I can’t do that.”

more details on the story

more information about relationship counselling

Thursday 10th May 2012 at St Bernards Chapel,
Uxbridge Road, Southall, Middlesex ,UB1 3EU

West London Mental health Trust is organising this one day event for members of the Tamil community and professionals to allow everyone to share stories of their experiences and issues affecting them.

As well as information stalls there will be workshops on the effects of war trauma on families, the link between war trauma, domestic violence, drugs and alcohol abuse.

Relate London north West will be participating in the event and will have details of our services and our work on the Working Together Initiative at the event. Please come along and see us.

For more details and a poster to advertise the event click here

Communicating with different family members can be tricky at the best of times. If you’re looking for ways of improving how to talk and listen, or if you’ve been trying to have a discussion that hasn’t gone as well as planned, you’re in the right place with Relate.

 For tips and advice, and to find out how Relate can help you communicate with your family, take a look at our new interactive family application here

From the facebook Data people:

Using U.S. Facebook data from 2010 and 2011, we looked at how different times of the year affect the beginning and ending of relationships. We started by tabulating the changes from a non-coupled relationship status, like “Single” or “Divorced,” to a coupled status, like ”In a relationship” or “Engaged.” We compared that figure against the number of changes in the other direction, from coupled to non-coupled, to calculate the net percentage change. As an example, 4% more people entered into coupledom in December 2011 than left it, a net gain for romance.

Admittedly, these numbers aren’t exact. Some people might not change their relationship status to “Single” after a breakup. Instead, they might opt to hide it from their Facebook profile entirely. In these cases, we can’t be entirely sure what happened. But considering the relative levels of coupling and splitting up across days, months and seasons still helps us understand the temporal patterns of relationship change among people on Facebook.

What Days Are People Getting Together?

 The days around Valentine’s Day and Christmas are good chances to try your luck or breathe a bit easier. The data showed far more people paired up around these times than joined the ranks of the newly single.

Feb. 14: 49% more new relationships than break-ups
Dec. 25: 34% more
Dec. 24: 28% more
Feb. 15: 22% more

Sometimes changes to relationship status are meant to be in good fun. The fifth biggest day for a net increase in relationships was April 1st, or April Fool’s Day, which saw 20% more relationship initiations than splits. But unsurprisingly, many of these appear to be short-lived: April 2nd was the year’s most extreme day in the other direction, with 11% more break-ups than new relationships.

Across age groups, the summer months are bad news for relationships. In 2010 and 2011, May through August were clearly lower than the other months of the year, suggesting the daily net change in relationships reaches a low during the summer. Interestingly, the large tail in February for the under-25 group can be explained by the fact that the net gain in relationships is highest on Valentine’s Day.

 We also found patterns over the course of the week.  In general, we saw a net gain in relationships after the weekend — Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday were the biggest days for new romance. Relatively more break-ups happened leading up to the weekend, peaking on Friday and Saturday among people in the older age groups

More details here

Saturday 21st April at Relate London North West, Harrow
£65 per person

The workshop looks at the impact of divorce and separation on children and their parents.
It offers an opportunity to share concerns and experiences as well as offering strategies for helping children cope with this change in their lives.
Parents learn about how they can develop a new and different relationship with their ex-partner.
The ultimate aim of the course is to equip parents to protect their children from what is often a painful experience.

More details

Register for the group